You wouldn’t believe it, the singer says. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her newish partner, and finally the mom to a little one after facing fertility challenges for a decade, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.
The artist, birth name J. Cornish, is famous for telling it as it is. The album, her latest release, was supposed to be an transparent story, tackling every moment of pain she’d faced since she last made an album (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, mental health struggles) with typical candour. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was released in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Then second single, Living My Best Life, came out in May and she was speaking publicly about how she was living her best life, while still secretly dealing with the disease. Four weeks after she disclosed her condition, and in early July she had a mastectomy.
She offers me her best “Seriously?” expression. “I come out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to call off performances because she’s yet to undergo follow-up surgery.
Our interview takes place at a photography studio in London. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, denim trousers with detailed white appliqués, off-white boots and oversized specs. Think motorcycle style meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Like the film, I say, thinking of the film. “They used to call me that!” She beams. She is sharp-witted, irreverent and blunt. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her first comedy performance soon. “I like entertaining. When performing I frequently joke about the crowd.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was preparing for an performance at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘But I can feel it. I have arm pain and pins and needles in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The specialist told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had persuaded herself it was okay. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had a busy schedule.
“We’re two weeks away from releasing the album after a long hiatus and no new music. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be fine, and she says, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ The solemn tone? And she says, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have come back as malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She found the surgery terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. During crises you roll down in a bed, but now I just marched with a gown on and my rear exposed. Like a dystopian scene.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but however Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my right breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “At least the nipple remains.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I thought, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a rough time. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Illness changed that.”
A History of Health Challenges
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She thinks her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s experienced in medical emergencies. Frequently they align with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or blow, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Frankly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with high points for me; a major or strange event has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career performing in the London theater in the production (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was diagnosed with the heart condition a syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as dizziness and heart flutters. “I rehearsed between visits on an drip, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward several years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the female band the group while enrolled in the Brit School. “I secured a deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was about to put out music in 2020 I had a collision and my voice box shifted and I was unable to vocalize for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, hold on, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
